The definitive guide to snaxing and snaxe safety compiled by the HBA version 1.0 (future versions may never come)

WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE A SNAXEBITE

  1. First, you must identify the snaxe. If it is a major snaxe then you must pray that it does not use its time-stalin powers on you. If it isn’t a major snaxe, then proceed to treat it like a normal snaxebite. If the bite is from a major snaxe that has not used its time-stalin powers on you yet, then you are safe, as long as you kee pchanting the mantra: “Hector the hecretary bird halfheartedly hunted the heinous snaxe helper.” Do this eleven and a half times as fast as humanly (or hecretary birdly) possible.

  2. Throughly clean the area of bite before moving a muscle. Any movement of an unclean Snaxe bite wound will result in infection. Unfortunately, you hear beats involuntarily, so you will get infected.

  3. Move away from any dense, shady areas and go into a clearing or open space. If that is not possible, get to a very high-up place. If that is not possible RUN!!!!!! until you reach a H-Bird/Snaxe research base. If you are lucky, the snaxe will not pursue you because you are too thin to make a good meal. If that is not possible, you are dead. Abandon all hope of surviving and pray to the hecretary birds.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE AGRESSIVELY ATTACKED BY A SNAXE

(Snaxe hunts you and then attacks; Snaxe attacks at night)

  • Kick, fight back, and use your fists. Do everything possible to let the Snaxe know you will not be subdued easily.
  • If bitten, follow proper snaxebite protocol.
  • Use debate, rhetoric and persuasive speech to convince the Snaxe to leave you alone.
  • Make the Snaxe tired and lazy.
  • Run away if you are not dead.
  • Still run away if you are dead.

Start Snaxing!

Okay, that was the HBA’s snaxe safety guide version 1.0, now let’s talk about the actual snaxing!

When the life of a Snaxii ends, they will turn into Shapeless Pulp. Normally you can read this kind of stuff on the Hecrepedia but they haven’t updates in years. The goal of snaxing is to collect all of this shapeless pulp, to defeat the snaxii, or simply to have a fun time.

Make sure you check out the Hecrepedia and view all the Snaxii. Version 1.0 of the Hecrepedia included the dangertivity of the Snaxii but the Hecrepedia does not contain that information. The general trend is the more common the Snaxe, the less dangerous it is. I sure hope the HBA updates the Hecrepedia soon.

Now when you snaxe you gotta have the top of the line tools. Here’s what they are.

Aqua Salt Defense Mode

Pop Rock Cannon

Sticky Hands

Snaxe Spray

I honestly don’t know too much about these tools, the HBA has not provided enough information for me to give out. I do have an AD for Snaxe Spray which I will tell although we are not sponsored.

Buy Our Snaxe Spray!!!

Our patented spray has infusions of shapeless pulp to ward away any Minor Snaxe!!! It can even destroy cardboard boxes of the Grind Snaxe! Buy our product today!

May cause small holes in the space-time continuum