BREAKING NEWS! Billions of anxious citizens have reported losing consciousness for some period of time last night. This is an extremely alarming event, and the Hecrenews currently has its best investigators at work to see if this global catastrophe spells doom for the human race. While the search for a cause of this attack is ongoing, we now bring you to some of the victims of this mysterious event. Local human Hou Mung-bean describes how it felt:

“Last night, I was up reading this new novel I pirated, and my eyelids started closing. It was really alarming, it being out of my control and everything. Guess what? That wasn’t the end of it. I fought like mad to keep my eyes open, so that I wouldn’t miss any of the story. The fierce battle was going alright, when my mouth just involuntarily opened and I took this really weird big breath in and out– it was freaky. I don’t much remember what happened next, but when I came to, the sun was already out! 8 entire hours had passed, and I had no recollection of them! I recall thinking that I had discovered time travel, before I checked the news and found out about this horrific calamity”

There has been much speculation about this very mysterious happening, producing conspiracy theories ranging from periodic mass alien mind control to celestial beings accidentally performing a server reboot of the universe. While Hou later reported feeling “bright and cheery” after she gained consciousness, it is unsure whether she was made to feel this way by the alien overlord controlling her body during the night or not.

For now, the Hecrenews can offer a few pieces of adivse: Do not panic. Stay calm, and act with reason. And above all, dont close your eyes… or… “ahhhhhhh”, uh… don’t do that. Above all, don’t lay down for what.. whatever reason. Don.. OH NO, THEY’RE TAKING ME. DON’T MAKE MY MISTAK–