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Highly Sus Carnivorous Herbivores Spotted in Japan
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Animals
This deer, and others like it, have been recently observed to be seen eating meat, on multiple occasions. What other words can we use to describe this event but simply wonderful? The first recorded sighting of a predominantly vegetarian creature eating nonveg food was actually recorded by Hecrenews’s very own Banana the Human. During an interview, Banana describes the incident.
Yo, what’s popping, Wopps? Anyways, I was hunkering down in Japan, you know the reason, and I saw a deer. Now, you know me, avid follower of meat and the such, always have food on the body. So there I was, chowing down on some shrimp, when I see it. A deer. It seemed strange, all bloodshot and stuff. Guess what happened next? It savagely attacked me! It just went ahead and took the shrimp that I offered to it!
Reports of this mysterious occurrence have only increased in recent times. Chipmunks eating monks, gazelles nibbling Adele, rhinos eating dinos (some of these events might be newsworthy on their own, but eh. Procrastination is quite compelling, you know). If you see what you thought was a vegetarian eating meat, do not be alarmed. This is only the course that nature takes. Survival of the fittest after all. As members of the inferior faction, what can the herbivores do? Improvise, adapt, overcome, that’s what. This is Wopps Minor, known non-veg, signing off.
If you are a vegetarian reading this, do not worry. There is help. We can cure you. Simply call this number for a free consultation and begin your (one-way) diet transition therapy today! The journey to nonvegetarianism starts here! (This textual advertisement was paid for by the MIG. Don’t be veg, take the pledge.
Note: The Hecrenews does not explicitly endorse one diet over the other. Implicitly, on the other hand…