A local go-kart competition was placed and many people were interested in participating. Many participants were go kart experts, able to build, customize, and upgrade their go karts to the highest level of expertise. One man, however, breaks the trend and sets a new precedent which will change the world of go kart racing forever.

Octavianus Ianus knew he was going to participate in the race the moment he saw the flyer. It was a bright poster posted on the bulletin boards across town with some very nice Comic Sans MS font, which added to the appeal. Ianus dreamt of winning such a race since he was a wee little boy but he never won. In elementary school he had few friends for he was not the fastest runner in the grade. But Ianus was determined and tried other avenues of racing. When Ianus found racing with vehicles, he knew that was what he wanted to do. It felt natural to him to ride in a multitude of various vehicles ranging from bicycles to trucks to planes. Howver Ianus faced one major problem: the participants would not be supplied with a vehicle. This was a drastic shift from what he was used to as usually his team/sponsor would provide him with the vehicle.

Ianus asked around to see what was possible. He knew a few car mechanics and he soon began a crash course in learning how a car works internally. By the time he was done he was good enough to become a car mechanic as a living, but he realized he was participating in a go-kart race, not a car race. He asked his mechanic homies about it and they said “It’s basically the same.” Ianus still needed some more inspiration, so he dug up an old book and found a link to an ancient website, YouTube. On YouTube there were many videos Ianus could watch and he saw a video of some guy building his own custom go-kart with a few easy, simple steps. Ianus not had the inspiration he needed, but there was another hurdle he faced.

To construct the go-kart, Ianus would need to shell out the big bucks to buy parts. Unfortunately for Ianus, he was lacking in the big bucks department and was 100% unable to afford any of the kart parts save a few tools and some nuts and bolts. Time was running out, as it was a week before the competition. Ianus was becoming desparate and spent most of the week frantically thinking about how he would participate in the race. He couldn’t run because he was slow and would look silly, and he couldn’t use his car because then he would become disqualified. On the night before the race, an idea struck Ianus’ mind: he could bring a chair to the race. While he couldn’t bring his office’s fancy chair with an adjustable height and rolling wheels, he could upgrade his own chair at his home to have wheels. After spending an all-nighter preparing his vehicle, Ianus was ready for the competition.

The competition was a bright sunny day, the sky was a nice blue and the birds were chirping, and Ianus was ready to win. If he wasn’t in the mindset of winning, then there was no way he would be able to pull off the dub. The other participants, numbering about 20 more, were confused and Ianus and some were laughing him off as a joke. The racers set up at the starting line and waiting for the flag waver to give them the signal to go. Once they got that signal, Ianus took off at godspeed. The karts needed some time to convert the fuel into movement, but Ianus just blasted away instantly. One might assume the go-karts have a higher speed, but Ianus completely dominated them, not allowing a single person to get within a meter’s range. The audience was in utter shock and Ianus took home the solid gold. Ianus was pretty happy but declined further interview as he needed to make up work hours.

Well this was a pretty strange article. This has been Mister Mjir, popping in and now popping out.