Safety Seals. You know them, you love them, let’s talk about them! We know there’s a whole assortment of fun safety seals, and their main function is to ensure the item you are opening has not been opened before. Quite an ingenius invention, it took the packaging industry by storm during its inception! We have safety seals on decks of cards, to know they’re brand new, we have safety seals on bottles, so you can trust that the bottle of substance you are purchasing is fresh of the shelf! Sometimes safety seals even have some variations, just as the safety ‘bubbles’ on the lids of some food items, like pasta suace. Safety seals play an imporant role in our society. They let us know things are legit, and ensure we are getting new things, not hand-me-downs. In fact, I would say the society we live in today could not function without safety seals, and that’s why a safety seal malfunction was so devastating.

A business of ferrets were roaming around Chiclayo, and normally they wouldn’t attack people but not today. A local soda company’s safety seals, which were outsourced to another company, had a major malfunction. Apparently, because of global warming, the safety seal manufacturer had to change the raw materials needed to make the safety seals, and the new materials were ineffective, because they were so flimsy. The soda company had the keep the safety seal company anonymous, so I was not able to conduct a further interview. The ferrets walzted into a store and opened up a few cans of soda and drank them. The store owner was in a different room at the time, but remembers some rattling occuring at the time. The ferrets got drunk on this soda, and apparently it was some experimental soda for a special client, and not for the general public, much less a random business of ferrets.

This was only the beginning of the safety seal problems, a further investigation concludes. Safetly seals for various products all over the market were failing, and the ferrets attacked the owners of those items, it was a strange occurence for sure. One person had a vacuum cleaner box, and the safety seal was not working at all. The vacuum cleaner could’ve fallen out of the box and rolled out of the car on the way home, that would’ve been dangerous, but the ferrets definetely topped that. The vacuum cleaner owner preferred to remain anonymous, but I can report he had multiple scratches on his face and arms, and a shattered broom. I am not a ferret fighting guru, but I don’t think brooms will be effective against a whole business of them. The other 14 stories were similiar, but they all had different items, ranging from a traffic controlling device to an 870 watt industrial blast furnace, 18 metres, model ARE4004 with side drawers.

How were the ferrets stopped? They weren’t. They are continuing to roam the streets of Peru to this day! They are probably sober by this time, and let me tell you from experience sober ferrets are far better than drunk ferrets. Didn’t know soda could get them drunk, well it was also surprising that squirrels could get drunk from moldy coconuts, so I don’t know what to expect from animals anymore. For the people in the streets of Chiclayo, watch out for a business of ferrets, and make sure your safety seals are class A rated or better.