Mara Wilbur runs a traditional family farm. Now, this is not just any small traditional family farm, this farm was run by McDonald; that’s right, Old McDonald. That was many generations ago, and not many people know about the current status of the farm. When Old McDonald ran the farm, he revolutionized how farming work. The man created a whole new ‘field’ (🤣 🤣 🤣) and saved so many lives. The name of Old McDonald was spread far and wide, kids today even know about him! Anywho, this isn’t an article about the legend and greatness of Old McDonald, this is about his farm now. These days, no one even knows about the McDonald farm, it still exists though. The current descendant of Old McDonald running the farm is Mara Wilbur, wife of Thomas Wilbur. Today’s story is not even about Mara Wilbur, it’s about a character who I believe is even more interesting. This mischevious mule, this cunning cattle, this malevolent milk-producer. Ricky The Ravenous Bovine. Ricky is a menace to the fields, a terror to the barnyard, and a force of nature even Buddha fears. Today, we’re gonna learn a little bit about Ricky (and hopefully I survive to tell the tale 😬).

First of all, here is a picture of Ricky.

Ravenous Ricky Picture

Ricky is a Belgian Blue Cow, a BBC for short. The BBC is a breed of beef cattle from Belgium, and it might also be known as Race de la Moyenne et Haute Belique. Omg, that sounds so cool!!! Another name for it is dikbil, but Race de La Moyenne et Haute Belique, man what a name! Now, we gotta talk about Ricky’s muscles. Ufff, my man Ricky over there has some heft. You don’t want him to catch you during a theft! Ricky is always stopped by security for carrying his ‘guns’ everywhere. The pro-breeders call Ricky’s muscular madness ‘double-muscling.’ This is a phenotype is something the cows inherit, and it increases the amount of muscle fibers, instead of the individual muscle fibers. It’s hyperplasia vs hypertrophy. Now this is true for all cows like Ricky, what makes Ricky so devious? Well, we’re about to find that out.

Ricky is a rebel. Most farmers are scared of wolves that would eat their sheep, but Wilbur is scared of Ricky the most. He is temperamental, violent, vicious, cunning, and much more. Ricky gets what he wants, and there is no one (yet) who can stop Ricky. One day Ricky was caught bullying the pigs. Another day he was seen stealing eggs from some hens. This Tuesday Ricky hopped the fence and went into a china shop, and boy did he cause some damage there. Ricky is just a straight up delinquent, downright nasty. He is a menace to the fields, and to this day has not been tamed. Wilbur even called PS to try and tame Ricky, and this was the first job PS ever had to decline. They knew Ricky was out of their league. Wilbur was losing hope, and she started posting flyers for help. After two months, Wilbur was about to quit the farm, end the legacy of Old McDonald, but luckily Wilbur found the hope needed to keep the Old McDonald legacy alive.

Bovine Blackmailer. An expert in teh field, although quite arcane. Many don’t even know the Bovine Blackmailer exists, but the Bovine Blackmailer can find dirt on any bovine and submit them to do the will of the client. Once the Bovine Blackmailer saw Wilbur’s flyer on the local bulletin board, all it took was one phone call to secure the deal. Bovine Blackmailer was about to embark on another mission. Unlike PS, the Bovine Blackmailer was unfazed by the terrors of Ricky, the Blackmailer just went to work finding all the dirt possible on Ricky. He even hired a man to go to Ricky, and literally scrape all the dirt of him! Now that’s the kind of diligence a blackmailer needs to really find some good dirt. One day, Wilbur received an envelope in the mail. The job was complete, the Bovine Blackmailer had done the job. Wilbur left the envelope near Ricky, and proceeded to watch from afar. Ricky opened the envelope (of course he knows how, he is built different), and saw many photos. There weren’t actually that many photos, but Ricky did not like what he was seeing in the photos. Ricky, for the first time in his life, looked scared. What exactly did the Bovine Blackmailer find? I will never know, even Wilbur does not know. Ricky destroyed the photos, no one else should ever see what was in those photos. The Bovine Blackmailer wasn’t just a rural myth, it’s a real entity, and a dangerous one too! Luckily, the client usually ends up satistfied, and the Bovine Blackmailer never works for a bovine.

These days Ricky is behaving himself and Mara Wilbur is having a much better time at the farm! She is going to continue farming for the rest of her life, now that’s a happy ending. I know where I’m gonna get my food from now. I’m just glad no one got hurt because of Ricky (except for those pigs probably), those muscles really are packing quite the punch. This has been Mister Mjir, popping in and now popping out.