Many people have heard of AA, alcoholics anonymous. This group is committed to helping people quit or lesson their alcohol addictions. There are many chapters everywhere, where people can have a safe place to share their stories and be around other people who are on their journey to abstinence. This is a great thing, an organization helping people to change their habits (only if they want to change their habits ofc!) and providing a safe space to people. We’re all good on that, but of course as a Hecrenews journalist, I knew there was more to the story. After a few days of searching, man was I right! This group is very obscure, not many people know about it, but it sure does exist. They are called AAA, Anti-Alcoholics Anonymous. There are for people who are so good at abstaining for alcohol, they have difficulties trying to drink it. Some of these people are responsible people, and want to enjoy their life a little bit, but they are unable to drink alochol. Whether it’s spilling the alcohol so it doesn’t get poured into a cup, the inability to open the mouth when the bottle/cup is right in front of it, or rejecting the alcohol by spitting it out as soon as it enters the mouth, these denizens of society needed their own group to help overcome their problems.

The leader of the local AAA chapter is Love Choolla. Choolla has wanted to ‘sip the drip’ (idk why the kids call it that these days…) ever since she was of legal age (for drinking, ofc!). “First of all, let me set a few things straight about AAA. Everything things AA is better than AAA, because just like the batteries, AA is bigger than AAA. But what these people don’t know is that AA and AAA batteries have the same voltage of 1.5 volts!!! We are just as important as AA, and in my opinion, we have it harder because we have less people. A smaller community always has it more difficult, and we also have less data and experiences to help us overcome our challenges. To this day, we haven’t been able to cure a single person of extreme abstinence.” Choolla let me attend one AAA meeting so I could get a better picture of what goes down in the organization. I saw people from all walks of life, and some people weren’t even able to walk! Today there was a new member joining the organization, a bonus for me so I could report more things.

“Hello everyone, my name is Rink D’Cant. I haven’t been able to drink alcohol since my high school prom, when I was first introduced to it. Now thankfully, I’m fortunate I have been afflicted with this condition then, because it wouldn’t have been a smart decision to start drinking then. The problem is now I’m at the proper age and my body can handle it. I just want to drink a few fluid ounces of alcohol every friday to cool down when my week ends, is that so wrong? Everytime I pick up a glass with alcohol, I drop it. Usually, I can’t even pick it up, it’s like Thor’s hammer. Thank you guys for letting me join you, and I hope one day I can ‘sip the drip.’” (Why do they say that, idk). After D’Cant’s introduction (and can I just say my man has such a fire name, legend) the members all tried to drink alcohol. Some people tried sticking out their tongues into a glass of alochol if they couldn’t lift it up. However, everyone’s tongues just retracted back in before touching the drinks. About 15 more minutes were spent as I sadly watched the people fail to drink alcohol after relenteless perseverance, I admire their grit. “OMG, LOOK!” said Chooolla. One person was able to get some alcohol into their mouth, this was a breakthrough! They were about to swallow it too, but they spat it back into their cup. “Dang it! I got to taste it, but I didn’t get to drink it!” Everyone just remained on standby for a minute, and the members decided to end the meeting for the day.

I asked Choolla if there was anything else she wanted to let the folks at home know. “Everyday we are struggling with out problems, and most of the time we just get laughed at. People don’t think our reality is important, and our misfortunes become other people’s entertainment. This viewpoint needs to stop, maybe they are not your problems, but that doesn’t mean you can laugh at us. You don’t really know what it’s like until you walk in someone else’s shoes.” Powerful words from Choolla, I’m sure her sentiment doesn’t only apply to AAA, but people with problems all around the world. Before laughing at someone’s problem or situation, why not lend a helping hand instead? Well, I’m just a reporter at the end of the day, just gotta please the boss. Anywho, with one breakthrough, I’m sure this local AAA chapter is on their way to get the first AAA member to drink alcohol, and then start a new era for the AAA where they can actually cure people and help them start drinking alcohol. This has been Mister Mjir, popping in and popping out.