If you’re a loyal Hecrenews reader, you may know that I’m no stranger to time, especially when time goes wild. No time slowing down or stopping or travel this article though, today we’re going to be talking about a local businessman and his revolutionary business strategy/model. This entrepreneur is gonna make it big, he’s gonna make it huge, I know it. Introducing Trist Wawch, a man who has revolutionized the watch industry. All the big brands are in fear of going bankrupt because Wawch is able to do it all. On top of creating watches at all price points (dirt cheap to billionaire designer models), Wawch has added his own special flair. A new technique to make his watches stand out from the rest. Timeless watches.

First of all, what even is a watch? Watch is a verb, it means to look at something. Or at least I think, that’s my own interpretation, now let’s check out what google and the other big guys have to say. Alright, the folks at Oxford Languages have this to say abot watch, “look at or observe attentively over a period of time.” Well, I forgot the period of time bit, but otherwise I was spot on. There are a few other definitions, like to be careful, but who needs those. Watch can also be a noun, but specifically we are talking about wrist watches. When did the first watch appear? Well, we need to talk about when time itself appeared. While time was always moving around, right under our noses, we didn’t really have a standard for time. Some groups of people use the sun for time. The sun usually aligns with our bodies’ natural rhythm. We are awake when the sun is up, and sleep when the sun is down. At one point in time, lol, we started moving fast. We started moving so fast, that we could move from one place to another, and the sun would still be in relatively the same position. How were we able to move so fast? Well, we didn’t gain an extra leg. We invented trains! With the advent of trains, we needed to standardize times, it just made everything a whole lot easier. Then we built our lives around our standardized time, and wrist watches are a neat item you can just slap on to see what time it is in a glance.

So, back to how Wawch is revolutionizing the watch industry. Timeless watches. When a watch is timeless, it loses its ability to tell time. Now, I was quite baffled at this concept, so I interviewed a random guy on the street wearing one of Wawch’s timeless pieces (they’re so popular it wasn’t hard to find a person wearing one).

Me: “So, why did you purchase a watch that can’t even tell what the time is? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a watch?”

Random Guy: “Well, it’s timeless.”

Me: “Yeah, but what if you wanted to know the time?”

Random Guy: “Oh, I wouldn’t know how to read it anyways. Isn’t that what phones are for? I’ll just pull it out of my pocket and quickly check the time, saves me a lot of time compared to trying to read what the watch says.”

Me: “So why did you get the watch?”

Random Guy: “It looks pretty cool. Doesn’t it look sick?! Since it’s timeless, it never gets old. I think that’s mad rad.”

I get Adalbert Bulstrode vibes with this. I thought taking the time out of a watch would make it lose its value, but I guess Wawch’s wrist watches don’t deserve that. I guess the mechanical motion of a watch will inveitably cause wear, and a timeless watch will truly never get old. The more I think about it, the more brilliant the concept becomes. Ah yes, timeless watches. Trist Wawch is a genius ahead of my time. A timless watch is not just a fashion statement, it’s a life statement. To make this article more legit, I’ve interviewed Wawch himself just for completion sake.

Me: “So, how is business after starting your timless watch collection?”

Wawch: “Business is booming. And more than ever. Our company is doing amazing. We have so much money, I was able to give my employees 6 month vacations.”

Me: “Wow, that’s wonderful! Now that sounds like a great company to work at.”

Wawch: “It sure is, but making watches that meet our standard of quality isn’t easy. The training is a trial of itself, and that’s why we’re the best of the best.”

Me: “Good stuff, anything else you would like our readers to know. Maybe something inspirational?”

Wawch: “Well, I hope you can be inspired to buy my new watch collection. These are the series 15Y in scarlet red, everglade green, and brilliant blue. Prices start at $399, and we can go more if you’d like. Go to your nearest watch store, because it’s probably owned by us! Thanks for your patronage.”

Not very inspirational, but I think he got away with placing a free ad in our paper. Welp, it’s not like I care. It looks like Wawch’s company is going to be doing pretty well, so I would place some stocks in his company if I were you. With how much money I get from the boss, it will be impossible for me to buy a timeless piece :( This has been Mister Mjir, popping in, and now popping out.