As you may have already deducted from our recent lack of article flow, the Hecrenews isn’t currently at maximum productivity. We have commented on this sad, sad fact already (see this article). However, This is NOT Our Fault! The Hecrenews has always strove to deliver the highest of news quality, so what can we do when the news dries up? That’s right, the world is experiencing a dearth of dirt; nobody’s doing anything interesting!

To support your favorite news source (us) the Hecrenews recommends that you stir things up in these desolate, horribly boring times. Do something newsworthy. Seriously, we very much need it. The Hecrenews functions on news, after all it is half of our name. So, take to the streets. Dig a 15-foot pitfall. Jump off of an escalator. Anything interesting, please. We’re begging you. Hecrenews survives on vegetarian food, dank memes, and most importantly: news. Do your part. Stir up some trouble today. Anything to help us write a couple more articles. Anything…

EDIT by Hecrenews Article Quality Control (HAC) - Wopps meant to say that Hecrenews survives on non-vegetarian food instead of endorsing the inferior veg. Smh. The lack of news probably got to his head or something.