This is a quick turn of events. After the recent announcement of the disappearance of Banana the Human the Renews team was left in shock. After all, Banana was our best author. Despite him posting so rarely, his articles were immaculate, Woops and I can only strive to attain that level of quality and we balance it with quality.

Banana risked his life multiple times and got up-close and personal for his journalism, all journalists should strive for the diligence Banana has. We are glad to see his return. While every author in the Renews are leagues above other news journalists (as we are the only ones covering the full range of the Hecresphere), Banana is a league above the other Renews authors.

On another note, Renews is slowly expanding. Wopps Minor may have dipped on his daily articles but he recruited a new member, Hector from Hector’s House, a show where the main character, Hector, has the head of the Hecretary Bird and the body of a dog. We can’t wait to see these bright and coming authors and what knowledge they have ready to drop in to the whole of the Hecresphere.

Renews is also not in a good state. We did very well in the lawsuit (we have a whole suite of legal troubles, too much to list all so use Renews’ search feature and choose the legal tag). Af Roman was an absolute chad in the courtroom but Hon Hon Taj Boxes was persistent and sued the ‘Hec’ out of Hecrenews, turning us into Renews. This is not good as we will need to update our site name, logo, images, google news page, twitter, and a whole load of other stuff.

We are also facing fierce competition from that other news site you may have heard us talking about in recent articles. They have just passed 1000 total views and we are absolutely bamboozled on how we are not doing as good as them. HAC is saying our articles are not that good but they never said they were not that bad (heh heh…). I heard the boss talking about soon starting a new subdivision thing part of the Renews (formerly Hecrenews) Alphabet Soup Squad, the HAM (Hecrenews Article Marketing, but boss will have to changing it to RAM, Renews Article Marketing Team, responsible for managing the marketing of Renews and expanding our reach to the unenlightened masses.

I guess this article is a call for help. Help us by spreading Renews, share on Twitter, follow us on Twitter, share the links to your friends and ask them to share the link, we cannot lose to that other news site (boss said we can’t reveal their name yet). Anywho, I think this should pass HAC so no need to continue writing and I’m gonna stop right there. This was Mister Mjir, popping in and now popping out.