Pre 1600s the human race enjoyed many opportunities of interacting with the world around them which are simply impossible today. Most notably, people could fly, levitate, and do all sorts of aerial movements with impunity. Humanity was in a golden age; life was great and beautiful. Everything was swell until one man came into being, the man who would start a chain reaction of events leading to the forces of good and (mostly) evil affecting us today. Isaac Newton.

This mischevious man invented the nemesis of air travel: gravity. Gravity is a force which brings things to the ground. The sky’s the limit, but gravity will make it hard to reach the sky. Many people were in the middle of their commute (via flying ofc!) to work, school, and whever you commute and they all just stopped and fell to the ground. All in an instant, the instant Newton decided gravity was going to be a thing and invented it. Oh the tragedy, imagine if I could fly today! Newton invented many things, but the important ones really are his Newtonian Physics. Apparently he did some math work as well but I’m sure it couldn’t have been that important. I bet he didn’t even know calculus, that stuff is tuff stuff. Anywho, there are other people who added their own stuff to physics and even made their own versions, like Albert Einstein. Albert Einstein is pretty famous, our rival news site (whose current status is unknown), made at least 4 quotes about Einstein. He thought he was a special kid and called his physics special something, I’m not sure, I’m not a physicist. I’ll have to call in the head of SAR later to figure that out.

This despicable Newton created so many hardships for humans, but something even worse. A dark power exists; an arcane force only a few can touch. Those who can master this power gain unimaginable power, probably more than Justice, Jocose, and whatever the other one was but I’m sure it’s in this article. There is one notable figure who has mastered the dark arts known as phyiscs. We’ve mentioned him before, this man is Brian Jones. Many have sought his power and have gone insane, the folks in some HBA organization are figuring out how to deal with him. Newton is the creator of physics, Brian Jones is the evil wielder of the dark arts, but who is the hero? I would say it’s my main man, Adalbert Bulstrode, but he is currently trapped in some space-time thing only the people at SAR really understand what’s happening. Until Bulstrode returns, our world has little hope. Fortunately, Brian Jones hasn’t made any big moves yet, but this could also be a bad thing, because we don’t know what he’s up to.

Ah, I got an update from the man, Sheeple Donnell himself. If you don’t know, you can read this guy and learn a bit more about Donell. The main man at SAR who really knows all his stuff. So apparently, there is this thing in physics called dynamics, which explains why things move. Dynamics is all about forces, and gravity is a kind of force. This originates from mass, and mass attracts other mass, so there is a gravitational field wherever there is mass. I don’t understand Dunel’s magic words but I think he’s saying I create gravity. I am part of the problem of people being unable to fly. However, my contacts from various Hecrenews subdivisions are informing me that people never flew in the past, Newton never invented gravity, it was always there to begin with. I am a bit skeptical, but who really knows what happened in the past, am I right? I don’t really know where the research is from, but I trust Dunnel’s words more than any paper from any other guy out there, so we are going with what he says.

While the Newton thing may still not be 100% known, Brian Jones still remains an imminent threat, and something must be done. In the mean time, this has been Mister Mjir, popping in and now popping out.