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February 31st Part 3
News
Scandal
What’s up guys, it’s been a bit… Anyways, I know you loyal Hecrenews readers have been at the edge of your seats, waiting for this part 3 since part 2 was released on April 17. The wait is over, because now the article is finally here. Some bad news guys, my memory’s been bad lately, this must be the consequence of not writing in a bit. Anyways, we’re gonna have to pad this a bit, let’s start by dropping a quick link to part one and part two ;)
Alright, time to get back into the action. Time began returning to normal with the precense of Adalbert Bulstrode, my man is a legend. Anyways, I noticed someone I knew walking admist the spectators, why, that’s Isiah Dobrilla! How could I forget! I thought he was zapped along with the head of SAR, Sheeple Dunnell and Brian Jones, but I guess he was a bit farther away so he just teleported to the crowd. Anyways, you would think there was an epic battle, but no. During his ‘time’, in the void where space and time is unknown, Adalbert Bulstrode discovered much more physics than what any man knows. He had the knowledge to create the future the way he wanted it to be written, or at least that’s what I want to think, let me be a fanboy. Oops, I’m supposed to be a journalist, ummmm…. don’t tell anyone, okay?
Bulstrode wasted no time in trapping Brain Jones in a ‘Physics Prison’, he called it. He pulled out this contraption from his belt, it was a small cube, and, using projectile motion, he perfectlly threw the box onto Brian Jones. Brain Jones was sealed inside the box, I asked Bulstrode how it worked but he ensured me I wouldn’t understand, and even if I wrote it down, no one would be able to understand it. He did tell me there would be a lot of bots inside the box, but I have no clue what he’s on, I mean what he’s talking about. :{| Then the most unfortunate even took place. Bulstrode told me he had to return to the space time void, for two reasons. One was that the Physics Prison could not contain Brain Jones forever, he would eventually escape, and Bulstrode just wanted to study it more. Such dedication to science, if only I was as dedicated to journalism… However, he left me with a better communication device to give to the SAR team, so that was pretty cool. Anyways, he left quickly, he is a busy man after all, and everyone was in confusion and disarray. Once everyone got back to their senses, Sheeple Dunnell had to go back to Wah Turtistin to help him out, and Isiah Dobrilla stayed to watch the match.
Everyone was hyped up for the match between Shroops the Almighty and King Louie to continue, but we got scammed. Because of the confusion of the events, the match would be postponed till February 32nd!!! What was this?!?!?! Hopefully, since it was February 31st, it wouldn’t be that long of a wait. I went hope and took a nap, but that nap turned into a sleep. When I woke up the next day, the date showed March 1st! I got scammed, February 32nd was skipped, and now I will have to try my luck again next year! Oh, woe is me, why do I always get such bad luck. I still have my ticket, and will be waiting for their epic match. In the meanwhile, you can count on our team at the Hecrenews to keep you updated on Shroops the Almighty, and possibly King Louie if we can find his location. This has been Mister Mjir, popping in and now popping out.