Service is one of the cornerstones to being a good citizen and a person. When was the last time you helped out your fellow human beings? For local (car) dealer Skåmyu Güet, this last time would be very recent indeed. In fact, he’s still helping out those less fortunate by dealing out jocose cars for free! Can you believe it?

Güet has owned the Güet ‘Em While They’re Hot! dealership for about 2years now. Initially sales were booming, he says. “Why, there were so many people all lining up to purchase themselves a car, I desperately had to hire some help. Luckily, I found this man online, and I was so impressed by his extensive resume I hired him on the spot. Why, he’s even the POTUS!” However, as the years passed, less and less people showed up to good ol’ Güet ‘Em While They’re Hot! It might have something to do with the fact that all cars sold came with heated seats (as per the name), so much so that you could easily identify a Güet customer by the particular red shade of their backside. Because of this, Skåmyu found himself in a dangerous situation. Sales falling, progress stalling, Güet bawling, you get the idea.

Just as Frankenstein came to Mary Shelley in a dream, so did Güet’s money-making banger of an idea. Amidst dreaming up other fantastical creations, very acid trip-like, he heard an eerie voice, described by himself as “not unlike a scrawny, slightly nefarious news intern.” Skåmyu quickly got to work. Even at 3 am, he was so spurred by this idea borne of seeming nothingness that he immediately got to work. By morning, it was evident that Skåmyu Güet had spent the entirety of the wee hours of the morning painting a huge sign that towered over the traditional “Scalding Steals!”

The line at Güet ‘Em While They’re Hot! Was huge, snaking twice around the building and even onto the road. Everyone sure wanted them some free cars. However, no one, not a single soul was astute enough to notice a teeny weeny aubergenie asterisk cleverly placed there by Skåmyu, clearly living up to his name.

Once everyone had made it into the store and was marveling at their brand-spanking new cars, Güet dropped his (metaphorical) bombshell. While the cars were free, every breath of air would cost users $150,000. Quick as you can say “Nando Nanda, eso es mi apellido”, every customer was holding their breath and running out of the store as fast as they could.

Unfortunately (for them), it’s rather hard to do both of those things at once. Skåmyu Güet and his hired hands collected the people that had passed out from a lack of oxygen and will soon make them pay for every breath they took during that fated sale.

Rops.

Well well well, that reminds me of the whole Nit Flex shenanigans, now doesn’t it? Gee, I hope those hackers are doing alright. So much for the cure to that epidemic that our SAR head found, I know I’m still feeling residual procrastinatovirus effects. Ok now I’m done trying to increase internal link impressions. Wopps out.