While sciencey-types across the country are still hard at work trying to find the cause, there has been a widespread decrease in creative stimulation across the nation. What may be the cause? Are folks bored with learning online? Or is the Lesser Zecretary Bird bringing down a blessing of boredom? I guess we’ll never know, the jury’s still out on that one.

All this humdrum boredom has unfortunately led to an increase in Academic Dishonesty, colloquially referred to as AD. Schools across the country are succumbing to its seductive allure, but especially so for local school Leafblower Elementary. There, the AD scene is constantly evolving, and almost has a mind of its own. Hecrenews correspondent Fred Dome spoke to local Leafblower legend (After Daredevil Jack, Anna Džana, Billa, etc etc lorem ipsum) Nanaawi Shantyman.

“So, how do you think the increase in AD has affected you personally? I heard that many think it’s unfair to the few hardworking students that are left.

“AD?? What’s that?”

“Well, y’know. When you do the cheeky. When you go to the corner, and exchange the facts. When you ask innocent-sounding questions such as “What’s on Bio Test?” All of that falls under the big, wide, filthy, treacherous umbrella of AD.”

“Ohh, you must be talking about GMTA!”

At this point, Fred Dome inwardly cringes because of the overwhelming use of teenage acronyms found in the public school system. For more information on this juicy, juicy subject, you can check out Banana The Human’s most recent article! His constant flood of articles will familiarize you with all the latest lingo and lango, and if you’re lucky, maybe even slango. Anyways, where was I? Oh right:

“What does GMTA stand for? God Must Take Alcohol? Not the most elementary-school-friendly acronym, I must say…”

“Why Fred Dome, you blind, blithering fool, GMTA stands for Grand Mega Theft Auto, of course! You know, when you do something that someone else did over again, mostly without crediting them?”

“So when you AD?”

Yeah, yeah, whatever you old fogeys call it.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s happening, and it’s a problem?”

“Is it? I dunno, I personally have benefited greatly from the influx of GMTA in the public school system. The present vacuum in the Leafblower Elementary social structure after Daredevil Jack’s vanquishing and the Džana regime eventually crumbling into anarchy allowed a lot of us GMTA dealer-types to prosper.”

“How so?”

“Well, the coursework at Leafblower is a little intense, but a little intimidation can get you a long way. I’ve practiced my ‘Don face’ for years, as my bedroom mirror was my only friend through my long, hard (shudders) toddler years. But it’s paid off. With one look, I can get an instant stream of answers from any and all of my underclassmen. They’ll go out and press the request answer button on their assignments just for me. Isn’t being a 5th grader just great?”

Despite Nanaawi Shantyman’s best AD—or—GMTA empire-building dreams, the establishment is cracking down on this outburst of cheaty stuff immediately. After his interview with young Shantyman, Dome headed next door to the teachers’ lounge to converse with the unofficial chamberlain of cheating (prevention), Teemha Ranche. Ranche has collected together a group of student volunteers to help educate the rest of Leafblower Elementary’s populace about cheating prevention.

They call themselves VEC, which stands for a number of things, depending on who you ask. Shantyman called them Very Entertaining Cretins, while Ranche maintains that the official name is the Vee Excite Children club. Who knows what the true acronym is? VEC very energetically campaigns for the decrease of AD (and maybe GMTA too), but is generally regarded as a bunch of bumbling barnacles trying to get rid of an integral part of the elementary school experience.

Nanaawi is attempting to “get rid of” Mrs. Ranche and the rest of VEC, but unfortunately found herself in a sticky situation. You see, somehow despite their incompetence in essentially every field(They were going to put QR codes on TREES!), VEC had attracted the Don’s benevolent and watchful eye. Who is this Don? You may recognize him from his role in the ever-climbing hit metal group SOAD(System of a Don).

“Doing away with” the heads of VEC will definitely be a tall task with the Don’s backing there to go up against. While the hecrenews definitely does not promote AD or GMTA of any sort, we wish Nanaawi Shantyman all the luck in the world as she goes up against the Don in her quest to build a network for every answer to every question that could ever be asked . A new google, if you will.

It started with that math teacher, but now it seems that Academic Dishonesty and its sister crime, Grand Mega Theft Auto, are taking over public schools across the nation. Back in my ancestors’ days, there was no mega-AD ring like you’d see in Leafblower. In fact, if my grandpoop was still here to talk about the present situation, he’d say “rat-a-tat-tat-ta